7.33 am. i couldn't get to slp.
i tot i could sleep a lil more today.
i miss her alot.
i wonder how life could be without having you ard?
i guess, it couldnt be any better.

jus talk to her on phone last night.
hang up cos her buddy called, crying.
i cldnt get to slp.
tears started flowing.
my mind was in a total blank,
realizing that this time,
she's gone, now and forever.
i cried my life to slp.

you dont know how heartachin that few words could be.

i need a hearttoheart talk.
i need a big hug.
i need a shoulder to lead on and cry.
i need to cry my heart out.
i need someone to talk sense to me.
NOW.

im feeling uneasy inside.

every night i prayed, on bented knees,
the corner close to my bed,
that u'll always be my everything, my boo*

every night i wake up, i realised ure no longer mine.

ive got no one else to turn to this time.

if sayin as many iloveyou could bring you back,
i'll say till my lips went dried and no more voice.
and i'll continue to say till ure back right here with me.

ure leaving.
LEAVING.
i dont know what else to do.
cant go on without loving you.

i couldnt smile like before.
i want to find back the me.
the cheerful me.

im no longer the cheerful one.
_im the sadistic one

i dont know how to comfort myself.
no one is there for me, when plenty promised to.

at least she has her buddy to talk to.
my buddy is busy with her exams.
sighh, everyone seemed so busy.
no one seem to notice me at all now.

i wish i could be stronger than yesterdayy.
ure my everything, my life was jus YOURS alone.

a breakdown is a sooner or later thing.

i tot we could celebrate ure bday happily.
without thinking what jus happened.
now, i dont think we can.

but as i promised, i wldnt break it.
i dont agree with what ure mum said.
bday comes by every year, nothing special.
if its nothing special, why it happens only ONCE in a year?
it cld haf happen plenty times in a year.
i wanna spend this bday with you, can i? =D

ure the breath of my life in me.
u made my body, mind and soul completed for all time.
now that ure gone, who's gonna complete it?!

constantly, ure on my mind.
i think abt u all of the time.
words are hard to say,
i miss u, i knew i wld feel this way without you.

everything means nothing to me,
it i aint got you.
i dont know how u can be driving me so crazy over you!

when ure gone, and that means.
no more my babyy.
no more kisses frm you.
no more lil surprises frm you.
no more anni with you.
no more msgin me.
no more big, warm, tight hugs frm you.
no more coaxing me to slp.
no more tapping me to slp.
no more leanin on ure shoulders.
no more holding hands.
no more helpin me tie my hair.
no more iloveyous frm you.
no more sendin me home.
no more expensive phone bills becos i used them to msg you.
no more going to ure hse and play.
no more whisperin sweet nothings to me.
no more long talks on the phone with you.
no more whining frm you.
no more holdin on the ure hand when im scared.
no more love frm you.

so many no more.
my life's gonna change a hell lot.
in the moment, everything can change.

im down, im upset.
i cant be happy anymore.
you can make me whole once again.

i loved the way you looked at me.
i loved the way you tell me you loved me.
i loved the way you whine.
i loved the way you hold my hand.
i loved the way you hug me tight.
i loved the way you kissed me.
i loved the way you went blushing.
i loved the way you asked me to be ure's.
i loved the way you coax me to slp.
i loved the way you tell me sweet nothings before i go to slp.
i loved the way you celebrated anni with me.
i loved the way you smiled at me.
i loved the way you call me baby.
i loved the way you miss me.
i loved the way you talk to me late int he night.
i loved the way you send me home.
i loved the way you kissed my worries away
i loved the way you msged me
i loved the way you tell me ure gonna be my always
i loved the way you are.

i simply love you with all my heart.

and i'll continue to do so.

my love for you never ends, it never change.

think abt the days when im lying in ure arms.
with my head resting on ure chest.
now that ure gona, im here to stay.

when u come back, all i wanna do is to hold u tight and nv let go.
hold you close and look you in the eyes.
just come back and i'll tell you how i feel.
you stole my heart so easily and,
im not gonna tk it backk.

when the stars fall, i lie awake.
i didnt fall asleep.
ure my shooting star!

i wish i could carry that smile of ures in my heart.
i dont know what tmr will bring.
all i want was you.

i gotta keep myself frm breaking down.
someone pls help me out!

it hurts to want everythg and nth at the same time
i want what's ures and i want what's mine
i want you
but im not giving in this time.
im not gonna share you with anyone else.
i'll jus stay SELFISH.

err, long entry indeed.
im jus tryin to let everything i wanna say out.
there're plentyyee more. (:
i'll update them another time i guess. xD

`im on the edge of breaking down.